The Two Basic Approaches to Life

There are two basic ways in which we can approach our lives.

The first approach is the goal-oriented approach. We can decide on the optimal conditions in our life that we wish to realize, set goals to realize these conditions, and utilize our human energy, i.e. our Personal Power, to realize these conditions.

This approach enables us to radically alter the initial set of conditions that we inherited from our upbringing.

The second approach is what might be called the Zen approach. Using this approach, we do not strive to achieve goals or alter our present circumstances. Instead, we simply use our Personal Power to perceive our lives as being ideal exactly as they are and appreciate all that we have and all that we are right here and right now.

Both are valid approaches, and they are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Likewise, we may utilize both approaches at various times in our lives, and in fact, it is invariably necessary that we do so.

Here and Now is the One Moment of Experience. That being the case, we might argue that there is no need to establish and pursue goals. Since we can only experience our lives in This Present Moment, we are always right here, right now. Therefore, all we need to do is to perceive our lives better in order to experience our lives in a better way. The ability to realize the experience of happiness and well-being here and now is the ultimate expression of Personal Power.

That being said, we are by nature creatures of action. It is necessary for us to learn to do things and become proficient at them. Just as we can use our Personal Power to simply think better thoughts in This Present Moment, we can also utilize our Personal Power to take actions in This Present Moment that we perceive will in some way improve the quality of our lives.

Viewed in this way, there is no conflict between the goal-oriented approach and the Zen approach to living. We take action in This Present Moment to either think better thoughts about our lives, and perceive it as perfect as it is here and now, or we take an action because we believe it will enhance our lives in some way. Both "Acts of Power" accomplish the same goal: to improve the quality of our lives.

We can, if we wish, approach our goals from a state of completion. That is, we can perceive life as being perfect exactly as it is here and now, and then strive to achieve a goal simply because we want to, because we want to experience a different set of condions in our lives.

Take exercise as an example. If we are not accustomed to exercising, exercise can be an unpleasant and exhausting affair. Surely we'd be better off just perceiving that our bodies and our level of fitness are perfectly fine right here and right now; therefore there is no need to exert ourselves physically in that manner.

However, we may recognize that our lives may be enhanced by becoming more physically fit. Exercising may enable us to become physically stronger, have more endurance, and perhaps look and feel better. Therefore, we can pursue the goal of physical fitness through exercise, enjoying the process along the way as much as the end result.

In contrast, we may take the Zen approach and decide that we don't really need to do anything. We can, in fact, sit on our couch all day and just have a great attitude about life and be happy without really exerting ourselves. And as long as we are genuinely happy doing so, that approach is fine. There is certainly a time and place for doing nothing and simply exercising our perceptual muscles to perceive our lives as being just fine exactly as they are, and in fact, many of us would be highly benefit from becoming more skilled at doing just that.

It is important to recognize that at various times in our lives our challenge will be to take action and achieve particular goals, and at other times, our challenge will be to adopt a Zen-like approach and simply perceive our lives as being just fine as they are right here and right now. The key is to always be fluid and able to adapt well to the challenge of This Present Moment, whatever it may be.

The Unavoidable Challenge of Life

Life can seem pretty challenging at times, but to say that is a misnomer. Life is ALWAYS challenging. In fact, that’s what life is. A challenge. And it is up to each of us to either embrace the challenge life presents to us or shy away from it.

Each of us has our own unique set of challenges, and the specific form of our challenge may change during the course of our lives. What does not change, however, is that life is always challenging us in some way. Life's challenge is a constant, and we can either embrace our challenges, struggle to overcome them, and learn and grow from our struggle, or we can attempt to avoid our challenges, in which case we will still inevitably struggle with our challenges, but without growing and learning.

Since as humans we are destined to struggle either way, we find ourselves faced with two distinct choices: we can embrace our challenges and face them head on, or we can attempt to run away from them. One choice is the Warrior’s Way. The other choice is the Coward’s Way.

However, what we need to know is this: ultimately we can never truly avoid our challenges. We can either make a stand and do battle bravely, or flee from them in fear. We can attempt to flee from our challenges, but we can never ultimately avoid them. Our challenges will always track us down and make us deal with them anyway. We can attempt to hide from them, but our challenges will always find us.

Therefore, if we know that we cannot ultimately avoid facing our challenges, are we not better off summoning our courage and meeting them face to face, rather than giving in to fear and attempting to run away and hide from them?

What's a Warrior?

One who never flees nor fears

The Moment’s challenge

The Two Basic Acts of Power

Happiness, for many of us, can seem elusive. Too often, our circumstances in life are at a departure from the way we really want our lives to be, and we feel helpless at times to change them. How can we possibly feel happy when things often seem so wrong?

When we base our sense of well-being exclusively on our circumstances, happiness becomes an elusive proposition at best. After all, how often are our circumstances exactly as we desire them to be?

Even if our circumstances largely ARE exactly as we desire them to be, in the course of a day, or a week, or a month, or a year, inevitably they won't be. We'll inevitably encounter conflict with the people we interact with. We'll find ourselves stuck in traffic and late for an appointment or stuck in a long, unmoving line. We will get caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella. We will get turned down for a job or a promotion. We'll lose a game we were trying to win.

There are many small things that inevitably "go wrong," and sometimes there are bigger ongoing things that seem to be significantly wrong with our lives. Maybe we can't find a life partner or have recently lost one. Maybe we are battling an illness. Maybe we have lost our job. Maybe we don't feel like we have any real purpose in life. Maybe we are struggling to lose weight. Maybe we feel like a failure. Maybe we are constantly broke.

In any case, since it is rare that ALL of the circumstances in our lives are ALWAYS precisely as we desire them to be, if we base our happiness and well-being exclusively on having our circumstances be just so, we may find happiness quite hard to come by and maintain.

Rather than basing our sense of well-being on our circumstances, a more reliable basis for happiness is our perspective. Our perspective is always under our control. Even if we cannot immediately change a particular circumstance, we always have the option of viewing it in a positive light.

For example, getting stuck in traffic or a line is an opportunity to practice patience. Losing a romantic partner is an opportunity to fully appreciate the presence of that person while opening up to new relationships. An illness is an opportunity to fully appreciate the gift of health and the fragility of life. Losing a job is an opportunity to make a change and begin a new, exciting career. Of course we would never intentionally seek out trying circumstances like these, but the fact is that in the course of our lives they DO arise. The question is whether we are going to succumb to these circumstances or make the most of them.

This Present Moment Here and Now is our One Moment of Experience. It is also our One Moment of Power, the one moment in which we can ever impact our lives in any way, shape, or form. As human beings, we have two basic ways in which we can utilize our Moment of Experience to exercise our Power as humans and experience well-being in This Moment.

1) We can adopt a positive perspective about our circumstances

2) We can take an action to change our circumstances

As human beings, these are our two basic "Acts of Power." We can simply adopt the perspective that our lives are just fine exactly as they are here and now. Or we can take an action to change something in our lives that we perceive to be NOT fine exactly as it is here and now.

These are the only two things we really have the power to do. We can take an action in This Moment to affect change in our lives. Or we can simply think about our lives in This Moment in a better light. These are the two basic Acts of Power that comprise our Personal Power Playbook.

We should note that these two Acts of Power are not mutually exclusive. It is certainly possible, and even desirable, to utilize BOTH Acts of Power. If, for instance, we play tennis and lose a match we wanted to win, we can adopt a positive perspective about the loss, and then also go practice our deficient areas in order to improve and win the next time we play.

If we get laid off from our job, we can adopt the perspective that this event is the opportunity to enjoy a new exciting career, and then also go and learn about some new field that we have an interest in.

If we step on the scale or look in the mirror and find ourselves overweight and out of shape, we can accept ourselves as we are here and now, and then also start eating healthier foods and exercising regularly.

Changing our perspective is the more immediate and reliable of the two basic Acts of Power. There may be times when we cannot immediately change our circumstances, but we can ALWAYS change our perspective. Ultimately, we experience happiness when we adopt a happy perspective, regardless of our circumstances. Therefore, in order to achieve a lasting sense of well being, it is important that we first recognize the two basic Acts of Power that we have at our disposal, and then begin learning how to utilize them effectively.

The Fluid Perspective

What is a fluid perspective? A fluid perspective is the ability to adjust one's perspective to the demands of This Present Moment so as to maximize one's ability to experience well-being right here and right now.

If we have a rigid perspective that remains fixed regardless of what events and circumstances occur, our sense of well-being will end up depending upon whether the events and circumstances properly correspond to our rigid perspective.

For instance, if we only accept warm sunny days, we will have a difficult time enjoying our lives whenever it is cold and cloudy out. If we loathe being caught in traffic and long lines, we will become impatient and agitated every time we find ourselves stuck in one of them. If we are attached to the idea of our favorite team winning, we will be disappointed when they lose.

Conversely, if we have a fluid perspective, we will find a way to appreciate cloudy and cold days. We will find a way to turn being stuck in traffic and long lines into quality time. And we will be able to allow life be just fine even if our team loses.

It is perfectly fine to have preferences. It is perfectly acceptable to prefer warm sunny days to cloudy ones, quick, free-flowing traffic and lines to backed up traffic and lines, and our team winning to losing. But where we tend to go wrong is when we remain attached to these preferences even when our circumstances are clearly otherwise.

There are two basic types of circumstances: those we have control over, and those that we have no control over. For circumstances we have control over, we can take an action to change them. For circumstances over which we have no direct control, the only thing we can change is our perspective in relation to them. A fluid perspective enables us to adjust our perspective to accept circumstances that we would normally reject and resist with a rigid perspective.

Developing a fluid perspective takes practice. The way to practice is simply to find ways to appreciate circumstances that we would normally find undesirable. For example, the next time we find ourselves in a long line or stuck in traffic, instead of going through our usual routine of annoyance and impatience, we can simply practice patience. We can smile and think to ourselves how wonderful it is to be exactly right where we are here and now.

Obviously, we may not inherently feel this way. But we can act as if we do. When we make the effort to accept a normally undesirable circumstance, we find that we can in fact feel OK in these moments. With practice, we can develop the ability to feel just as good when we are stuck in traffic as we do when we are relaxing by a pool on a hot sunny day with a nice cool drink in hand.

The practice of adjusting our perspective in the face of undesirable circumstances is a form of "spiritual weightlifting," and can greatly enhance our Personal Power, which in turn can enhance the quality of our Moment of experience, and thus, our lives as a whole. This is because it is very seldom that our lives are an ongoing highlight reel of ideal circumstances. We all experience "down time," and plenty of it. It is very easy to feel good and be happy when our circumstances perfectly match our expectations and everything is going well. It is much more difficult to feel good when our circumstances fall short of our expectations and things do not go according to plan. If we can learn to adopt a fluid perspective and improve the quality of our "down time, this will improve the quality of our life experience as a whole. With practice, we can learn to feel good in This Present Moment while facing circumstances that in the past may have caused us considerable discomfort.

It should be mentioned that there may be times when we encounter extreme circumstances during which we cannot reasonably expect to fully adopt a fluid perspective to feel perfectly fine in those moments. Examples of these include when encountering a serious illness, or dealing with the sudden, untimely loss of a loved one. However, even while these extreme circumstances may not be reasonably overcome simply by adopting a fluid perspective, our ongoing practice at doing so in less-extreme conditions will at the very least enable us to adopt a perspective in these circumstances that is more fluid than it would have been otherwise, which will enable us to better cope with the pain even while not fully eliminating it.

Spiritual Weightlifting

The influence of the Daily Routine, a product of the Force of Habit, on the human experience cannot be overstated. It is a good idea to try to become aware of the extent to which the Force of Habit influences the way in which you act and think throughout the day.

Begin to notice your Daily Routine. To what extent are your thoughts and actions part of this routine? How much of your life is on auto pilot? Are you able to NOT conform to your Daily Routine

You may be surprised by the Effort required to act in a way that is a departure from your Daily Routine. There seems to be some invisible yet inexorable force that wants to keep us locked into our Daily Routines. We cannot see it, touch it, smell it, or taste it, but we can certainly feel it.

The Force of Habit that keeps our Daily Routine locked into place is not inherently a good force or a bad force, except to the extent that our Daily Routine supports our experience of well being. If we have habits of thoughts and action that are at a departure from the experience of well-being, then it will require Effort on our part to think or act in a different way.

The Force of Habit is the primary reason that it is so difficult to make changes in our lives. It takes a great Effort to override a Lifetime Habit and replace it with a new way of thinking or acting, because our Force of Habit will attempt to do its job and pull us back into our Daily Routine.

The more deeply formed the Habit, the greater an effort will be required. This is why major changes in our lives are usually the result of either some crisis or some even that provides us with greater-than-normal motivation, such as the heightened motivation we experience when we fall in love with someone.

Again, the Force of Habit can be useful in that it can keep beneficial thoughts and actions locked into place. If we are in the Habit of eating healthily and exercising, there is certainly no reason to do anything to change these habits, as they are Habits that support our experience of well-being in the form of good health.

However, the more we live on auto-pilot and allow the Force of Habit to keep our lives locked into place, the less we exercise our power to take actions based on our Will and Intention.

In order to temper the Force of Habit and develop our Will Power, it is a good idea to occasionally take actions that are at a clear departure from our Daily Routine. For instance, if we are compulsive about cleaning, this can be regarded as a good habit as it results in keeping our living environment neat and clean. However, sometimes it may be a good idea to Not clean, and just let things go for a day or so, just for the sake of Not Doing it.

Likewise, if we tend to be fidgety or impatient when standing in lines or stuck in traffic, it is a good idea to make a small effort to Not act impatiently, however long and slow the line or traffic, again just for the sake of Not Doing it.

The practice of intentionally Not Doing things we habitually do is a healthy practice. It is a form of spiritual weightlifting, if you will, because it is the exercise of intentionally acting against the resistance of the Force of Habit in much the same way that physical weightlifting is the act of lifting weights up in the air against the force of gravity.

Just as physical weightlifting is beneficial in strengthening our bodily muscles, this form of spiritual weightlifting, in the form of "not doing," is beneficial in strengthening our Will Power.

Of course, action taken against our Force of Habit can also involve "Doing" something we habitually don't do. For instance, if we tend to spend our evenings lying on the couch watching TV, occasionally it is a good idea to "Do" something different, such as turn off the TV and read a book instead, or take a walk around the block. If we habitually eat ice cream after dinner, it is a good idea to occasionally eat an apple instead, just for the sake of changing up our games and doing something different.

The more we are able to take even small actions that are at a departure from our Daily Routines, the less governed we will be by the Force of Habit. Even small actions of departure, even small "not-doings" can strongly exercise our Will Power, so that we have the Personal Power to make any change we desire and need in life, without being a prisoner of the Force of Habit.

In summary, the Force of Habit is an inescapable force in our lives. Even though we cannot see it, we can definitely feel its influence. This force is inherently neither good or bad, but it does exist and it does influence our lives.

Optimally, we want to use the Force of Habit to keep beneficial patterns of thought and action in place, while not totally conforming to it, so that we can maintain the ability to change any aspect of our lives when needed.

The best way to develop and maintain this ability is to practice "spiritual weightlifting" in the form of intentionally "not-doing" a habitual action. When we practice "not-doing," we feel the resistance of the Force of Habit, just like we feel the resistance of weight when practicing physical weightlifting. But like physical weightlifting, we also feel the "pump," a sensation of new found strength and exhilaration, when we successfully "Not Do" against the Force of Habit.

And just as the exercise of weightlifting provides our physical muscles with more strength than before we exercised, so too does the exercise of Not Doing against the Force of Habit provide our spiritual muscles, in the form of our Will Power, with more strength than if we had not performed the exercise.

Just as we don't necessarily need to do physical weightlifting in the practical sense, many of us do it anyway because we recognize that making the Effort ultimately provides us with greater physical strength. Likewise, even though we may not practically need to practice spiritual weightlifting in the form of Not Doing, once we try it, we recognize that the practice provides us with greater spiritual strength, in the form of the Personal Power we require to make positive changes in our lives.

The Hidden Benefit of Pain

Good health is an essential component to the experience of well-being. Illness and disease, on the other hand, are by definition a departure from the state of well-being. The experience of being sick, and the accompanying pain we feel, can be debilitating. Illness and pain are states that we want to avoid if at all possible.

However, the experience of falling ill or experiencing great pain, however undesirable, has the hidden benefit of providing us with a fresh perspective, in the form of a renewed appreciation for life, and reacquaints us with what is truly important in our lives.

When we are feeling very ill or become injured and are in great pain, we feel like we will do anything and never take anything for granted provided we can just be well or pain free once again.

The experience of great pain provides us with an unsolicited reference point, or a clear point of comparison if you will, for appreciating just how great it is simply to NOT be in pain.

I have experienced tremendous physical pain a few times in my life. Once I had an inflammation of the stomach cavity that was so intensely painful that I could not eat or even drink anything, including water, without a experiencing a tremendous, constant, pain. This pain lasted for well over a week, during which time I literally could not eat and or sleep for days on end.

Another other experience of intense physical pain was when I was stung in the foot by a poisonous stingray while surfing. This pain was even more intense than the stomach pain, to the point that it was close to being truly unbearable. Fortunately, I was able to receive treatment for this right away, but for about three hours I was in another state that made me Appreciate how great it is to simply NOT be in such pain.

While in these moments of pain, I swore to myself, God, and everyone and everything that I would never again complain about anything in my life if I could just be free of this horrible, unbearable pain.

Eventually I was able to overcome the pain, and for a while thereafter, I was able to enjoy a new, heightened appreciation for how great it is simply to be alive and healthy and NOT in pain.

This same perspective that pain provides is of course also inherent in the experiences of emotional and psychological pain. Any experience of pain, while not intentionally sought out, provides us with this gift of fresh perspective and renewed appreciation.

Of course, as time passes and This Present Moment continues to change and bring us new experiences, our experience of pain becomes ever more distant, and eventually we tend to lose sight of our perspective.

We may lose sight of the perspective brought on by pain, but we still have it as an experience to draw on. Therefore, whenever you are feeling dissatisfied with your life, recall a time when you were in great pain, and then simply appreciate how good it feels to NOT be in that much pain.

The experience of great pain, while never to be intentionally sought out, provides us with the hidden benefit of a new and healthy appreciation for life.

Mastery of This Moment: The Key to Life Mastery

Many people aren't sure what they want to do with their lives; they are unsure of their specific goals or overall purpose.

Even if you are unsure about what you want to do with your life, there is one worthwhile thing you can dedicate your life to: Attaining Mastery of This Moment.

This Present Moment is the One Moment of Experience. We can only ever experience our lives in This Present Moment. Therefore, if you do nothing more with your life than concentrate on gaining mastery of your thoughts, actions, and state of mind in This Present Moment, you will have actually discovered one of the most important keys to happiness and well-being.

What does Mastery of This Moment entail? Mastery of This Moment simply involves focusing your awareness on This Present Moment, and embracing and appreciating it as if it is the only thing that matters.

In Toltec Philosophy, popularized by the books of Carlos Castaneda and Don Miguel Ruiz, this commitment to Mastery of This Moment is called the Way of the Warrior. You may also recognize Mastery of This Moment as the approach to life embodied in Zen philosophy.

These approaches to life embrace the notion that This Present Moment is the One True Moment of Experience, and that the past and the future are illusory. That is, there is no past, other than the thoughts we create about "the past" in This Present Moment. And there is no future, other than the thoughts we create about something called "the future" in This Present Moment.

If This Present Moment is indeed the One Moment of Experience, then what do we really need to do with our lives in order to attain a true sense of happiness and well-being?

We simply need to commit to attaining mastery of our thoughts, actions, emotions, and state of mind in This Moment, for when we achieve nothing more than Mastery of This Moment, in effect, we gain mastery over our lives as a whole.